A Stranger's Reminder

It was a cold afternoon when I went to pick up my kids from school. There was my young boy playing with his southeast Asian girl classmate. Close by stood an older Caucasian man who got her backpack. I was intrigued how they could be related. She had always been picked up by her mom, but not today.

I stood at a distance to where they were playing. Minutes passed by and then this little girl asked the man in a loud voice, “Daddy, do I still have lots of time to play?” to which he happily nodded. He walked towards me and asked if the young boy was mine. I told him yes.

“It’s just refreshing to see such pure joy, eh? We don’t usually see that from adults, do we?” he started to strike a conversation.

“Not very often. Many people lose their inner child as they grow old,” I replied.

“I’m so glad to have her as my daughter.” He went on to explain, “I ‘inherited’ her,” and smiled proudly.

Not sure what to say, I blurted, “that’s wonderful!”

It was a bit awkward and I tried to divert a potential sensitive topic, “She’s such a sweet kid. My boy always plays with her after school.”

“Yes, she is the sweetest thing. Lucky to have her in my life”, he went on. “You know,” he paused, “with her, it’s like.... life has given me a second shot at being a good father.”

I nodded, “that’s good.”

I sensed that this man was on the verge of revealing what could be the biggest regret in his life.

As he watched his daughter play with my boy, he said, “I never realized that watching kids play happily really does bring joy, until I had her. I have kids from a previous marriage but I never really cared so much on simple moments like these. I didn’t pay attention as much when they were growing up.”

I stayed quiet and just listened, cause I thought that was what this man needed. And honestly at that point, I wanted to know his story.

He continued, “Amazing how time flew by. Before I knew it, my chances with them had passed me by.” There was a sad tone in his voice.

“How old are they now?” I asked.

“They’re in their late 20s now.”

“It’s not too late, or is it?”

“I’ve been trying to make up for the lost times, you know, but it’s too difficult now that they are so busy with their own lives.”

He paused, looking down and kicking some snow under his feet, “Can’t turn back time. When it’s gone, it’s gone!”

I discerned this man missed the chance to build a loving relationship with his own kids. The pain must be overwhelming to force him to reveal a deep regret to a random person - me. Like it’s a deep secret he’s been keeping but afraid to reveal to someone who knows him. But with a stranger, maybe he felt his secret is safe. I don’t even know his name.

“You got a second chance though now with her. Not everyone gets so lucky to have that,” I told him. “Looks like she has no problem calling you dad even if you don’t look like tiny bit of her.”

“I know… it’s amazing how she had embraced me as her dad. It just gives me some worth.”

“See, you must be doing a better job now, eh”, I joked just to lighten up the chat.

“Maybe, maybe. I really hope so. I better not mess up this time, this is my last chance!” he laughed.

My older kid came running towards me.

“Ready to go home, honey?” I asked her.

“Yeah.”

“Rafa, it’s time to go now buddy!”

“Oh, she’s yours too!” he exclaimed.

“Yup, I got these two. I still have a long way to go in raising them up.”

“Enjoy this time with your precious ones. Don’t make the same mistake I did when I was younger. I had the wrong priorities back then.” He grinned.

“Yes, I will keep that in mind. Will see you around!”

I walked to the van holding hands with my kids - this time with so much more meaning and renewed purpose.